I have been completely overwhelmed in the past few days --- actually, I write that and think it has actually been much longer than that. I'm completely overwhelmed ... period.
Work has been insane. I've had a ton of great stories. I'm staying on the front page and keeping myself really busy digging into all kinds of corruption and bad deeds. Had a heartbreaking story last week about a man charged with killing his 7-week old son ... and found he'd already been to prison for killing his 5-week old son about 18 years ago. Awful.
Continue to chase down fire chiefs and public housing property managers. And I'm finally getting pulled off all daily responsibilities in order to work on a story I've wanted to tell for a long time. I'm super excited about it but completely overwhelmed about the amount of work and the insane deadlines they've given me on it.
I kept up with all my runs this past week ... logging a total of 7 so far this week. We're supposed to do four in the morning, but the forecast is calling for snow so I don't know how that will turn out. If not tomorrow, maybe I can get in a run on Sunday. We'll just have to see what Mother Nature decides. Right now she's not doing the runners of TEAM in Training any favors.
Speaking of running, I totally got inspired and registered myself for the Chicago marathon -- to be run on 10/10/10 in one of my favorite cities -- thus the title of the blog. It gives me an excuse to visit all my girls there ... which I hope to do in March as well as I take the little sis on some college visits. If I think about that too long I feel really old thinking about my baby sister being old enough to start thinking about college. Yikes. Moving on.
Dad went home this week so that is great news. Haven't had much communication with him, but I'm told he's doing better.
My heart still aches but the pain is getting a little less with each passing week. I feel a lot better about prospects and feel more positive more often. I'm pretty sure there is someone out there who will figure out that I'm quite a catch. It still stings to feel rejected by someone you spent so much of your time loving. I still pray every day for him that he will find happiness for himself. I wish I could have been a part of that, but he didn't want me too. And that really has very little to do with me.
In the meantime, I'm not letting any grass grow under my feet. There are so many positive things coming up for me. And I'm just trying to figure out how to manage them all. I've been sewing, working on some quilting projects. I'm running. I'm fundraising. I'm going to dinner with friends. I'm bowling (though still not well.) And I'm learning how to let myself settle down and be alone too. That's the most important one.
Sorry, just had a little wave of sadness spread over me there for a bit. But I'm mostly feeling good and staying positive ... I can feel how much I've grown over the past several weeks. It's a good thing. But change is hard.
Remember ... San Diego in June or Chicago in October. Plenty of chances to come cheer me on ... or just keep the cheerleading coming in between too.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Come Monday, it will be alright ...
I'm going to chalk last week up to being one of the worst I've had in a very long time, and that's saying a lot given the kind of weeks I've had recently.
But things might just be turning around a bit ... at least that's the way I'm going to look at it.
I was able to talk to my dad on the phone for the first time in over a week. That in and of itself is a miracle given how sick he was last week -- causing my impromptu travel home. It's a miracle we didn't lose him. So though his voice sounds weak and he's obviously got a long way to go, things are improving. He doesn't even remember me being home but it's a choice I would make again in a heartbeat.
I can't really explain the trauma the whole experience caused me and how completely lost I've felt as a result of it. All I can say is that it is totally life changing.
I really appreciate all the prayers that have been sent my way and for my dad as well. I believe it can work and does. But I've been in such a pit of bad energy over the last couple of days that just simply has to change. It's really hard to bear the weight of all this stuff, but I know I can do it. I feel, even in my weakness, how strong I am. And I have great people in my life to support me along the way.
And it seems like in times like these you really see people for who they are ... it's amazing sometimes how focused we all get on our own lives that we don't stop to think about what other people are going through. We all have stuff ... and I hope that even in the midst of this in my life, I'm still taking time to check on others and see if they are doing ok.
So, my goal for this week is to avoid the passive aggressive behavior that some folks thrive on -- and I'm not always exempt from that -- and not get caught up in the drama of those folks. I want to focus on what I need to get done, be compassionate to others as I'm taking care of myself and to find something to enjoy.
I hope you all have a good week and that I can exhibit some peace and grace in the craziness that is my life at the moment.
But things might just be turning around a bit ... at least that's the way I'm going to look at it.
I was able to talk to my dad on the phone for the first time in over a week. That in and of itself is a miracle given how sick he was last week -- causing my impromptu travel home. It's a miracle we didn't lose him. So though his voice sounds weak and he's obviously got a long way to go, things are improving. He doesn't even remember me being home but it's a choice I would make again in a heartbeat.
I can't really explain the trauma the whole experience caused me and how completely lost I've felt as a result of it. All I can say is that it is totally life changing.
I really appreciate all the prayers that have been sent my way and for my dad as well. I believe it can work and does. But I've been in such a pit of bad energy over the last couple of days that just simply has to change. It's really hard to bear the weight of all this stuff, but I know I can do it. I feel, even in my weakness, how strong I am. And I have great people in my life to support me along the way.
And it seems like in times like these you really see people for who they are ... it's amazing sometimes how focused we all get on our own lives that we don't stop to think about what other people are going through. We all have stuff ... and I hope that even in the midst of this in my life, I'm still taking time to check on others and see if they are doing ok.
So, my goal for this week is to avoid the passive aggressive behavior that some folks thrive on -- and I'm not always exempt from that -- and not get caught up in the drama of those folks. I want to focus on what I need to get done, be compassionate to others as I'm taking care of myself and to find something to enjoy.
I hope you all have a good week and that I can exhibit some peace and grace in the craziness that is my life at the moment.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Falling behind ...
I just wanted to put something up quickly to give you all the latest update on what's going on with me. I had great intentions of writing a final blog to finish up my 29 gifts -- which I did complete on Jan 10 thanks to a night at the movies with friends and a salad taken to a cards night with other friends. It was a great experience that I may try to repeat sometime in the future.
Then I was going to update you on my efforts to write more letters and get one out each week. I sent the first one in a card to my dad. But I missed the second week because of some downturns with my father.
On Sunday, I rushed home to Detroit after my father went into the hospital Saturday due to some complications from his last round of chemo. I decided I better go home after my sister called to tell me he'd been put on a ventilator early Sunday and was considered critical. I didn't realize then how bad things really were. I think we're lucky we didn't lose him on Saturday actually.
Basically, he went into septic shock. Had dangerously low blood pressure and was having trouble getting oxygen to his system. He has a couple of nasty infections, which isn't good since he has absolutely no immune system thanks to the chemo blasts. I spent the past couple days mostly at the hospital and with family. He's been sedated the whole time. I hope he knows I was there, but I don't really know if he did or not.
He is showing some signs of improvement as his blood pressure is stabilized and he spent a lot of time yesterday breathing with minimal help from the vent. With that, I decided to get on my plane back to Louisville, despite not seeing him wake up. But he was showing some signs of movement and coming off the sedation so I'm hopeful he will be more alert today and that the vent can come out soon.
He's definitely turned a corner but is not out of the woods yet. He's going to be in the hospital for awhile I think but I don't really know what the next steps are. We've just been trying to get him out of the most severe danger.
It's been a pretty awful few days and being back at work doesn't feel great either though it gives me something else to think about. I realize I have a lot of great friends and people in my life who support me. I believe in the power of prayer and positive energy so I appreciate all that is being sent our way. I only ask that you keep it coming.
I hope you'll understand if I'm a little out of it for the moment. It's been very emotional and really makes me think about a lot of things in my life. I'm trying to be positive, but not always succeeding too well. I'm not sure when I'll have to go back to Detroit, but feel like I have to be prepared for anything at any time.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks and give you all an update in the most succinct way possible. Sorry if I'm not returning every call or text message ... but I know you understand.
Then I was going to update you on my efforts to write more letters and get one out each week. I sent the first one in a card to my dad. But I missed the second week because of some downturns with my father.
On Sunday, I rushed home to Detroit after my father went into the hospital Saturday due to some complications from his last round of chemo. I decided I better go home after my sister called to tell me he'd been put on a ventilator early Sunday and was considered critical. I didn't realize then how bad things really were. I think we're lucky we didn't lose him on Saturday actually.
Basically, he went into septic shock. Had dangerously low blood pressure and was having trouble getting oxygen to his system. He has a couple of nasty infections, which isn't good since he has absolutely no immune system thanks to the chemo blasts. I spent the past couple days mostly at the hospital and with family. He's been sedated the whole time. I hope he knows I was there, but I don't really know if he did or not.
He is showing some signs of improvement as his blood pressure is stabilized and he spent a lot of time yesterday breathing with minimal help from the vent. With that, I decided to get on my plane back to Louisville, despite not seeing him wake up. But he was showing some signs of movement and coming off the sedation so I'm hopeful he will be more alert today and that the vent can come out soon.
He's definitely turned a corner but is not out of the woods yet. He's going to be in the hospital for awhile I think but I don't really know what the next steps are. We've just been trying to get him out of the most severe danger.
It's been a pretty awful few days and being back at work doesn't feel great either though it gives me something else to think about. I realize I have a lot of great friends and people in my life who support me. I believe in the power of prayer and positive energy so I appreciate all that is being sent our way. I only ask that you keep it coming.
I hope you'll understand if I'm a little out of it for the moment. It's been very emotional and really makes me think about a lot of things in my life. I'm trying to be positive, but not always succeeding too well. I'm not sure when I'll have to go back to Detroit, but feel like I have to be prepared for anything at any time.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks and give you all an update in the most succinct way possible. Sorry if I'm not returning every call or text message ... but I know you understand.
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