Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I'm a slacker baby ...

It's been awhile since I posted ... I know. Just add it to the list of things that are on my plate lately that are only getting half attention.

Today, I'm feeling a little cranky about things. It seems like no matter what I do, my list keeps growing. It's my own fault though. I keep adding things to the list ... like outings with friends, trips to pick blueberries, movies, etc. Probably what I should do is put myself on lock down and just get some things accomplished. And when I do that it would free up my time to do the fun things I want to ... or would it?

Is there ever a time that you don't have things to do?

Lately, I'm struggling a bit. People at work are super cranky as we wait to hear what the latest third-quarter cut backs will be. We all feel them coming. It's palpable. And we launched a new computer system this week, which really isn't that bad but has a lot more steps than the other one so does take a little more mental energy to deal with. Often it feels like the only conversations I have with people involve some level of complaint. It's exhausting.

I've got a huge list at work and very little of it is stuff that I really want to work on. By the time I get home from whatever I've done in the evening, I'm too tired to work on the things I actually want to be writing for myself.

The BF was a little cranky last night and I had to spend a little while after getting off the phone with him convincing myself that I didn't do anything wrong to put him in whatever mood he was experiencing. It's still a lot easier for me to blame myself for other people's problems.

Basically, I'm overwhelmed. Haven't gotten in the workouts I need. I really wish I could be back at boot camp, but I can't afford it. I need to get myself in check on the spending so that I'm not in deep crap if the job falls through. I want to get off my life for awhile.

But how life really works is that I've vented this out a little bit and now I have to get back to work. That list hasn't gotten any smaller in the five minutes I've taken to write this.

Better get that graphic assigned if I can figure out how to use the system.