Saturday was another great run for me. I didn't set out on this marathon training to hit new personal records in each race, but it seems to be happening. I wasn't as fast in this 10 miler as the first two shorter races, but that was by design. I averaged 12.5 minute miles to finish in 2 hours and 5 minutes. That's five minutes less time than last year's race. And it was in the middle of a windy day, with a rainstorm in the middle. It felt really good though. And we did about 3 miles to start before the race.
It's an amazing feeling to push yourself beyond what you thought possible. And so far the pain in the knee is manageable. I'm staying on top of it and keeping myself stretched and doctored up. I think it helps to not run as many hills too.
But today I'm starting to feel it a bit. I have to run six in the morning, but as I sit here tonight, I'm exhausted. I feel the muscles aching. I just want to curl up on my couch and have someone bring me food and drink. But I'm going to head home (hopefully soon if the editors can focus long enough to finish my story) and slug up and down the steps to do laundry and figure out my own dinner situation.
It's ok. This is my life. I take care of myself and rely on the support of friends and family to keep encouraging me that I'm doing the right things. I really rely on that support. I'm counting on the kind words of encouragement. And sometimes they come from the unlikeliest of places. Today a co-worker -- someone I don't talk to or see that often -- came up to me and handed me $50 to give to the walk. It was great. And what was even better is that he was totally interested in what I'm doing and encouraging about it.
I never thought I'd be able to raise more than $4,000 in three months -- and more coming with fundraisers still planned and other donations still coming in. I never thought I'd be this ok with being on my own again. But the truth is, I'm happy with who I am. I would love to have someone to share it with -- but I'm ok with myself.
Hey Jessie,
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon your blog and it's very courageous of you to share your thoughts and emotions so openly in such a public forum. It's good to see that you are keeping a positive outlook on things when you have many opportunities to see the half-emptiness of the proverbial glass. That takes a lot of courage!
It also takes a lot of courage, drive and dedication to train for a marathon. I have been running for the past 5 years or so, and running gives you such a marvelous opportunity to learn about yourself. In those strides after the 10th mile, when it's just you, the rhythm of your footfalls and your thoughts, it's amazing sometimes what bubbles up to the consciousness.
Keep it up and you have to post on how the marathon went! I'd love to know!
Tim (from Renaissance)