So, I was reading this piece in the New York Times the other day. (I will take a moment to pause and say that I really heart the NYT.) It was yet another story about how the age of female empowerment is making it tough on those same empowered females to find romance.
Really? I've never heard this before. Since I was in high school lamenting about the lack of boys asking me on dates, I've heard this same refrain about how intimidating I am. It gets a little old actually. I mean, I've always wondered what I'm supposed to do about that. Am I supposed to pretend I don't have ideas? Am I supposed to pretend I don't live on my own, pay my own mortgage, take out my own garbage, etc? Am I supposed to giggle ridiculously at stupid jokes just so a guy thinks I like him?
I mean, really. I'm not so independent that I wouldn't be thrilled to let someone else take out the garbage or balance the checkbook. If he's funny, I will laugh and it will probably be a good belly laugh, not a piercing annoying giggle. I like it when a guy opens the door for me and I don't mind him picking up the check. I'm not one of those women who can't be taken care of or girly. Jeesh, but if I don't take care of myself, exactly who is going to do it?
This article talks about how much harder it is for women in their 30s who have become successful to find men. No kidding. At 37, I think I'm acutely aware by now how difficult dating can be. But I also subscribe to the state of thought that if I have to act like a different person to meet a guy who I can date, what exactly would be the point of that? At this stage in my life, I am actually really happy with who I am. I'm not inflexible and I could certainly adapt to someone else's quirks, but I've worked really hard to be where I am now and I don't think there's any reason to try to hide that.
Really the reason I'm writing about this article is that I found it really encouraging because there were some women in the story who have found men who are perfectly ok with successful women. It just reaffirms what I've always believed -- that if you just go for what you want, eventually someone will come along who appreciates you for it and wants to share the ride. Ok, so I haven't found that guy for myself yet, but I suspect he's out there somewhere.
See, I told you I'd start writing more. Feels good.
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